martes, 5 de mayo de 2009

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Publicado por Facundo Falduto en Artepolítica.



Si hay algo que todos los argentinos somos, por definición, es Directores Técnicos, Pilotos de Fórmula 1 y, ante todo, Psicólogos. Todos sabemos diferenciar a los freudianos de los lacanianos, a estos de los conductistas y a los tres de los gestálticos. Entendemos todo, claro. Entonces con escuchar cinco minutos a una persona ya sabemos cuál cuál cuál es su estructura psi (ay qué bonito decir "psi", da re profesional), sus patologías, los traumas que arrastra de la infancia, el número de la tarjeta de crédito, la última medición de colesterol, y lo que tiene que hacer para resolver sus problemas. Es facilísimo, si te lo digo yo, perejil. No hay neurosis que no sea entendible en dos rondas de cortados, que no se explique en un paseo por la calle Corrientes, que no se resuelva tan rápido como cambiar un cuerito.

Pero lo mejor de todo es cuando nos ponemos a resolver problemas cotidianos, analizados desde la psicología. Así, mi auto no arranca porque tengo una relación fálica y enfermiza con él, producto de un edipo mal resuelto; vos no podés conseguir laburo por una estructura obsesivo compulsiva de aferramiento a lo pasado, originada en que tus viejos nunca te llevaron al Ital Park; y la recepcionista de la oficina te atiende con cara de orto porque es una histérica y necesita una buena poronga, que es la solución universal a todos los problemas.


Y el problema, precisamente, es que arrastramos este comportamiento a la política. Que tal es inestable. Que tal es histérico. Que tal se aspira tres rayas de merca y termina charlando con los cóndores. Es peligroso, no debería ser así. Porque de la misma forma que no alcanza con pisar los pedales para determinar que hay que cambiar el carburador, tampoco se puede diagnosticar psicológicamente a una persona con escucharla hablar cinco minutos.

Por eso me parece absolutamente irresponsable que Aguinis diga que la presidente es bipolar y narcisista ("andateconchuda" le faltó nomás) después de admitir que nunca habló con ella. Lo mismo me parece una falta de respeto cuando decimos que Carrió se pasó de pepa en el desayuno y tiene delirios gástricomísticos que le hacen ver el futuro, cuando seguramente nunca la tratamos en persona. Es lo mismo que un gasista que intente arreglar un calefón por celular, es tocar de oído. Una total irresponsabilidad política más cercana a la chicana berreta que a un argumento. Y se lo perdonamos a la tribuna, pero también lo usamos como argumento serio. Lo decimos periodistas y políticos, y así revalidamos lo berreta como discusión política.

Pero la mayor ofensa es que tales afirmaciones traen implícita la idea de que una persona bipolar, narcicista, conchuda o con delirios místicos no puede ejercer un cargo público, o el más alto de todos ellos que es la Presidencia. Porque si hay algo que todos los argentinos somos, además de Directores Técnicos, Pilotos de Fórmula 1 y Psicólogos, es loquitos de mierda. Y mirá si vos, neurótico del orto, vas a venir a decir que la conchuda bipolar no puede ser Presidente. Te lo digo yo, un narcicista anal obsesivo y compulsivo, peregil.

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